Thursday, October 29, 2009

Photos now added to Eulogy

After a couple of technical hitches, I have now uploaded some of the photos from the powerpoint throughout the parts of the Eulogy. So even if you have read the eulogy before, please revisit the 4 parts to see some great snaps of Peter throughout his life.

Thanks to those of you who have given me such wonderful feedback about Peter, his amazing life and the compelling eulogy. To paraphrase Peter: "The fact that there is anyone out there who is reading the blog and remembering is not only amazing but brings tears to the eyes."

Grateful thanks

Leanne

Tribute from a Social Work Colleague - Eulogy



(Photo: Peter in 1983)


This is the text from the item :"Memories of Peter and Social Work" by Desley the National Manager of Social Work at Centrelink which formed part of the Memorial gathering on 15 October. For those of you who are outside Australia, Centrelink is the Australian Government department responsible for pensions, benefits and other services and used to be called the Department of Social Security up to about 1999.

I am very grateful to Desley for providing me with the text of her speech, as she was well aware that this is something Peter would have wanted to have, for his records and for posterity. I am also grateful as I learnt a few extra things about Peter, which was very precious as
he is not here to forge new memories with me so havingthe loan of someone else's memories is all I can have from now on. Thank you Desley.

"I feel very honoured to have been asked by Leanne to speak today about Peter's social work career - or at least the part that I know about.

I first met Peter when I became an Area Social Worker in the old Area South Queensland about 20 years ago. He was, at that time, the Assistant Director Social Work based in Sydney in what was then the department of Social Security. However, I did have phone contact with him for a couple of years before that when I worked in the Social Work Unit in DSS Queensland and one of my tasks was to manage a social work recording system which later became known as SWIS (Social Work Information System).

My impression of him, from the phone contact, was of someone with very strong views, a lot of knowledge about statistical analysis and even computers - which left me way out of my depth. He was also very god at identifying what was wrong with the Queensland system and how it could be improved! I was left thinking - Mmmm!! He introduced himself as a Hungarian Jew and often talked about his various investments and the decision-making behind them.

Peter was a man with very strong principles, highly ethical, an advocate for the disadvantaged and with a vision way beyond what the rest of us could comprehend. I remember him having a conversation with me in 1990 about the world of the future and how social workers would be and should be using computers. He researched and wrote prolifically about that in a time when we were still working with Wang "dumb terminals'. I laughed and said "No way, Peter!" We were still moving into an environment where we had to learn to type our own social work reports!! BUT how RIGHT he was! We couldn't imagine a workplace without computers now.

Peter was very committed to the social work profession and for many years was an active member of the Australian Association of Social Workers. He was passionate about high standards of professional practice and wrote prolifically about how to improve professional supervision. He developed a national training and professional development plan and I still have copies of these documents because they remain relevant today.

In November 2004, our Social Work service reached its 60th year milestone. peter sent me so many historical documents that he had kept over the years to ensure they were maintained for posterity. he also invited a number of eminent social workers who had worked in DSS to provide some comment on their time in the Social Work Service. While there was not a huge response, his passion remained and he was very keen to reminisce about the good and the bad old days. He was intensely loyal.

Sometimes Peter could be abrasive, dismissive and on occasion, disagreeable and he did not suffer fools gladly, but he could also be a lot of fun. He had a wicked sense of humour and took pleasure in stating the outrageous and being provocative, just to get a reaction. It usually worked and some of us needed a debrief after the odd teleconference where sparks could fly!

After Peter moved to the Social Work team in Canberra the dynamics changed there too. In talking with Margo and Jenny, who were around in the team at that time, they have many stories about the robust discussions which now occurred face-to-face rather than over the phone.

He loved Coffee lollies and kept a supply in his desk which he regularly offered to Margo and Jenny. he was the only one who liked them but they were too polite to tell him!! He used to try to bribe them with the lollies , completely unaware of their aversion to them.

If they went to his office to ask a question, they could plan to be there a long time, so they used to work out a strategy to get the other person out with a fake phone call. He loved to talk!!

Peter finally got his way when SWIS was computerised and he was heavily involved in its design and implementation. Not long after Centrelink was created Peter moved to the next stage of his career and into the IT world where he seemed to be in his element. Whenever I bumped into him he was very positive about the work he was doing. (It didn't make an ounce of sense to me - but then I guess you would expect that!!)
Photo: Peter in his office in 2003

He would also regale me with his and Leanne's travel plans as he loved to travel. I felt very privileged when they asked me to house-sit a few years ago when they went off for as few months travelling around Europe. I knew that he was keenly disappointed when he was first diagnosed because they had plans for another long trip which, in the end, could not be undertaken.

I went to see him in the hospice not long before he died and jokingly told him I needed his advice on SWIS. Despite his state of health, he immediately responded and told me that I was asking the wrong question about SWIS and I really needed to consider looking at the issues from a different perspective. He was as sharp as a tack! He then proceeded to take me to task about sending Centrelink social workers offshore in responding to (international) disasters. I had to justify how that fitted with the "real" role of social workers. I clearly gave the right answers because he then advised me that he was very suited to this role as he was such a well-travelled person. He said he would get well and I would obviously choose to deploy him. Sadly, this was not to be.

To the last he was incredibly positive and optimistic - a real fighter determined not to give in.

I really enjoyed working with Peter and respected him highly even when he was being difficult! We did not always agree but I found he was always prepared to listen, consider, provide advice and,occasionally, to change his viewpoint. He was a man of integrity. His legacy in the Social Work Service will continue.

I am grateful for the time that I had to work with him. He taught me much and we will all miss him."


Desley (15.10.2009)

I just want to add that Peter was very grateful that Desley had taken the time out of her very busy schedule to visit him that evening in the hospice. Later, he asked me whether I thought she was being honest when she said to him that he was widely remembered and had made a great impact on the Social Work Service in Centrelink. I replied that Desley would not have said it if it was not true and I thought that he underestimated the impact he had on a vast number of people and services throughout his life. He cogitated on that for a few moments and said that he hoped it was true because otherwise he had wasted his life. I told him that nothing is ever wasted especially the kind of work he had done.

I hope this is true, too, Peter.

Leanne

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Eulogy - Part 1

In response to many people's request, I have placed the eulogy for Peter on this blog. I have divided it into 4 parts so that it is more easily read and manageable as a blog post (scroll down to "older posts" and click there to be taken to the other parts of the eulogy). After the memorial gathering, many people said that they had no idea what a fascinating life Peter had led, how interesting he was or that they could hear Peter saying the things I had written and it's true - he was so honestly expressive and in many cases I have used his words, as he wrote them in his life notes which he left for me.

Others were kind enough to let me know the special memories they have of Peter and to repeat some of the things he used to say to them - many of them totally indicative of Peter's hard work and commitment, humour and provocative nature.

I hope you find some insights into him and like me, marvel that so much was contained in one man.

Eulogy
for
Peter George Garas
22 September 2009

Some of you here today will know more about aspects of Peter than I do, having shared various parts of his life. And so I will not, perhaps, be able to do justice to the memories and experiences you have of him through the different phases of his life, especially those with which I have no knowledge or have not shared. Please forgive me for any oversight you think this Eulogy contains. How to adequately acknowledge the life and contribution of someone is a challenge, however, Peter did leave me some documentation about his early years to supplement my experiences and I hope this summary does go some way to sketching an outline of his life.

Birth (1949-1957)
Peter was born in Budapest, Hungary on 25 January 1949 at the Love Hospital to Leo and Katalin Garas. He was an only child and very precious son who may not have been born if World War II had not ended when it did. His mother was the survivor of two concentration camps, Venusberg and Matthausen, who was one of only a hundred or so survivors of over 2,000 women who were set out from Venusberg and were shipped by train to Mauthausen in the last throes of the war. She suffered from typhoid at the time of the liberation of the camp and walked back from the camp to Hungary, via Czechoslovakia, once she was fit enough to do so.

His father was a veteran of World War I and was caught up in the ghetto in Budapest during the Nazi occupation. He was in hospital following a heart attack, at the beginning of the occupation, and had to leave hurriedly to avoid the mass killing of patients there. That his parents survived, married and had Peter was quite an amazing feat!

Peter's mother was an opera singer, a soprano, and his father was a singing teacher. They lived in Budapest and


Peter became a child actor at the age of four, working for the Hungarian National Radio. He got a number of small parts in children's stories and met his favourite characters from the programs. As a result of his work on radio, he was also offered a number of parts on the stage and appeared in two plays, one being the 'Kremlin Torony Óra' with the famous actor Pécsi Sándor. This play was about the Tower Clock of the Kremlin - some melodrama about the life and times of Vladimir Illyich Ulianov or Lenin.

Peter writes: “There are a number of recollections, which accompany this period of my life. I recall the bitter sorrow when a new director from Russia arrived and took away the lovely red boots which formed part of my costume and replaced them with a used pair of army boots several sizes too large. His rationale was sound - Russian kids simply did not have pretty red boots to wear at the time of the Revolution. I never forgave him anyway.


One night when Pécsi Sándor was ill, the understudy finally had his chance. Everything was going swimmingly until all of a sudden he experienced the most dreaded event in an actor's life. He forgot his lines. There was a pregnant pause, a silence that seemed to fill the theatre. Every eye was on me as my lines came after the ones, which he had forgotten. I remember looking at the understudy, waiting for my cue and not receiving it making up a joining line which led into my lines and the show moved on. There was a palpable sense of relief among the actors. When the curtain came down I found myself hoisted in the air, hugged by grinning people and escorted in full costume across the street to the nearby cake shop where I was treated to as much cake as I could eat. This particular show was on for something like three months. Three months of steady work. I was earning my keep at the age of four or five.”

Photo: Peter 1954
The photograph of Peter taken during this stage play shows his confidence and self-possession even at the age of 5 or 6, which were such an essential part of him for his whole life. John G, who is here today, remembers hearing Peter on the radio in those days as well has having known Peter and his family from then on.
Peter recalled his first day at school in the following words: “On my first day at school, I can recall all the warnings which my mother gave me about how to behave in the class. I cannot recall any anxiety at having to go to school, rather I recall a sense of excitement and adventure. I came home from school with a note from the teacher. I had been whistling in class and had been made to stand in the corner for having transgressed the rules. My mother, exasperated went through the litany of rules, which she had explained to me and asked me how I could possibly have been silly enough to whistle in class. Nonplussed I replied that she had told me not to talk in class, whisper, nudge other children, laugh out loud and a dozen other things, but had NEVER mentioned whistling. At six I was already a smart-arse!”

When Peter was 7 years old, they left the country and escaped over the border to Austria. He learned many years later that his uncle in New York, Louis G, had paid, through some nefarious sources, some people in Hungary to spirit them out of the country. Apparently it cost US$1000 per person to do so, lying in the back of a truck under a load of carrots.

Here is how Peter described it: “This was a memorable trip, which involved lying under a bed of carrots in the back of a truck, which left Budapest and headed towards the border near Györ. Here we stayed overnight in the local synagogue sleeping on the pews with most of the adults fearing capture while we children just sensed the excitement and wondered what it was all about. When we headed out from the synagogue it was pitch black. The only piece of transport for a large group of us was a single ox cart. This was reserved for the ill, the very small children and the frail aged. Naturally I did not qualify for any of these categories and as a result spent a considerably uncomfortable time scrambling over ploughed fields where the furrows seemed to grow with the time that passed as my tired little legs felt like they were climbing over mountains. As we travelled slowly over the dark and forbidding terrain, there were star shells being fired into the sky in front and to our left. The people guiding the party said that these were being sent up by the border guards near the Czechoslovakian border. In silence and with just a little more fear we trudged on.

Suddenly our entire party was bathed in light. In the darkness behind the lights we could make out people and a VW combi-van with a big Red Cross on it. An audible groan of relief escaped from the throats of each adult in the party - we had arrived in Austria."

After time in Vienna and a refugee camp in Salzburg, which were full of adventure for a seven year old, they travelled by ship, the “SS Waterman”, to Australia. They were meant to go to the USA but only Peter's father was allowed entry to the States as he was born in Vienna so, to keep the family together they chose Australia instead, which was more relaxed about country of birth. While this led to disappointments for his parents in terms of work and career options, as well as foregoing family ties in the USA, it ended being the very best thing for Peter.
Photo Above: Salzburg 1956
Photo Below: Katalin, Leo and Peter prior to embarkation with cousin Suzanne, Rotterdam

Unfortunately, Peter's parents were not able to get employment in their chosen professions and, as with many other migrant families throughout the decades, they had to take what work they could find which ended with Peter's mother working as a clothing finisher and the family undertaking piece work on costume jewellery and other items at night. Peter said: :”My parents made this a game for me. However for them, I suspect it was a life and death situation, earning enough money to stay alive.”

The family located around the eastern suburbs of Sydney, sharing with other families in the early period after their arrival. However, Bondi Beach became Peter's home from the time he entered high school and he stayed there for the majority of his adult life, purchasing an apartment in Sir Thomas Mitchell Rd around 1975.

Eulogy - Part 2

School and other activities

Peter had no English on arrival in Australia but quickly became proficient. He attended primary schools at Woollahra and South Coogee. To fund his love of Saturday matinee movies, Peter became a marble “hustler”, playing marbles, winning and selling them back to the previous owners for less than the cost of new ones. This proved lucrative enough to help fund tuck shop purchases as well as the 6 pence it cost for the movie tickets. He said that bringing salami and capsicum sandwiches for lunch, while delicious, were not considered appropriate food by his peers, so he had to develop a taste for chip butties and fund them with his wins at marbles. From a photos around this time, I suspect he ate both the chip butties and the salami sandwiches!

Peter attended Randwick Boy's High School for five years. In his opinion he was not very successful at school. He managed to get good marks in English, History and languages. English and History, French, German and Latin were his main subjects along with Maths I and II, the sciences and Music. He went to Vaucluse High for his last year and worked hard, becoming Dux of the school, so he then gained entry into Law school at the University of Sydney. He also won the Goethe prize for German language on at least one occasion.

Living at Bondi Beach, Peter spent many hours at the pool and the beach, learning to swim.

“Life at the beach was a novelty for a boy who came from Budapest. The sea was eternally fascinating and scary. But my mother insisted I learn to swim and I did so, by having a few lessons and watching what the others did; later spending a lot of time down at the pool or beach on hot summer days. I can recall one time when I left home early in the morning on a weekend to go to the beach. It was a really lovely day. My parents probably expected me to come home for lunch and when I did not they began to fret and then to really worry. When I came home about 6:30 p.m. the house was surrounded by people: neighbours and the police were all buzzing around excitedly. I casually walked up to my parents and asked what all the fuss was about.

My mother was utterly dumbfounded. She just stood and stared at me and finally managed to utter a question about how I had gotten lost. With a genuinely innocent expression and tone I told her I had not been lost, I had known where I was all the time. I don't think she knew whether to hug me or hit me. Much to my relief she hugged me in the end.”

It always amazed me, in the last decade or so, that even on the most scorching day I could not get Peter into a swimming pool, lake or sea but he said he had had enough of that as a kid and I couldn't entice him.

He said he didn't make friends easily at school and found he had to stand up for himself pretty quickly which he seemed to do with some success. However, there were many friendships which he made at school and he continued to mention those friends to me regularly.

Peter said that some of his teachers, during high school were memorable, often NOT for inspiring hard work or application. One, called Mr Little, was his science teacher. Apparently, he used to pay Peter not to ask questions in class, so he could have uninterrupted time to work on his language courses!

During his high school years Peter “was sent off to” some Jewish youth groups. He says he was very grateful to AZA, one such international youth group affiliated with B'nai B'rith “ as I was able to learn many skills there, starting with how to work on a committee,... leading to organisational skills, secretarial and treasurer's skills and finally to President.

Photo: Class 4c, Randwick Boys High. Peter - 1st row, far right

This is also where he honed his writing skills, editing and contributing to newsletters. All of these capabilities were important to him as a future public servant and in his voluntary work later in life. Later, Peter was elected the NSW and then Australian President of the B'nai B'rith Youth Organisation, also becoming a “Life Governor” for Australia and New Zealand, which was a very rare thing. Peter said “I learned how to organise camps, conventions, car rallies, parties, social events of all kinds simply by doing and succeeding or learning from what we did wrong. I also learnt how to lead others and how to value their contributions and bind them into a popular organisation so that their commitments to each other, to values and to the giving of themselves, paid off.”
Photo: Peter 1969
Peter said the period from the age of 13 through to his 30's were the most fulfilling times he had ever had. Sadly, he left over a major policy disagreement when he put a principle before his own well-being. Later, in 2004 he wrote: “I missed the companionship dreadfully (once I left). I miss the continuity of my work, I miss the people that I bonded with throughout my teenage years and then later through my adult years. They were, for me, the friends of my life...... I miss those days and often look longingly at the pictures of the conventions I attended.... and think back on the people I went through all of this with and remember them with a pang in my heart and a yearning that is indescribable.... I am not likely to experience this again in my life and I have left it too late, I suspect to try again.”

This year however, he did have some contact with a few people from the period and he was gratified to meet with them or have email and phone contact again. I think that this is something many people find, namely, that those late teenage and university years, or early working years are some of the best you can ever hope to have. We just don't realise it at the time and then when we do it is many years later and life has moved on.

However, most of you will know that Peter, was not at all religious and considered everyone on equal terms. He was always interested in people's views, delighting in challenging and questioning their views. But he was not exclusive and, in fact, had a very eclectic network and range of friends, valued colleagues or acquaintances.

University

Peter studied at Sydney University from 1967 to 1974 in Arts/Law and Social Work.

As is often the case, with university came a burgeoning interest extra-curricular activities. In Peter's case it was in jazz, bridge, movies and billiards.
Photo: Graduation in Arts with parents and Pam, 1970

He left Law. Peter said: 'At the law school I was a very poor student, except in Criminal Law and Contract Law. In these subjects I found a considerable amount of enjoyment. They provided mental exercise and an arena for argument. Basically I hated law. I hated moving from the main campus of Sydney University to the Law School in Phillip Street. I hated the subjects. In short I did everything else but work. There was a sense that justice and the law were only distantly related and there was also a problem that in those days conveyancing and divorce law constituted the bread and butter of legal work. Both subjects being dry and boring.”

He looked for another opportunity and found Social Work, about which he said: “My assessment was that this course of study would provide two things for me:1) a livelihood for which there would be an ongoing and continuing need and 2)an interest which did not pall with time.
As it turns out, so far, my assessment has been correct.”

He graduated in Social Work and also returned to further formal study in 1990 to undertake and graduate as a Master of Social Work. However, he was a great believer in continuing education and never stopped learning or improving his skills and knowledge throughout his life.


Work
Peter undertook a range of jobs while at University, including being a Sydney taxi driver, working in retail at Grace Brothers, Milsons Giftware, Cantori Jewellers and Phillipson's Clothing as well as being a clothing commercial salesman for a time. He would often tell me anecdotes from some of these early jobs, claiming, that he could sell almost anything, especially items that were hard to sell. He mentioned that he would take bets from the other shop assistants that he could sell some of the remaindered items to the next few customers. He would then set about showing the customer all the things in the shop and if they were particularly hard to please would say: “Just a moment, I think there's something out the back that's one of a kind, which we haven't put into the shop that would be fabulous on you!” he would then bring in a particularly interesting garment and the customer would invariably walk out, satisfied and with said hideous item!!!

Photo: Peter 1976 in Migrant Services

When he qualified as a Social Worker his first job was in the Migrant Services Section of the then Department of Immigration and, later, Social Security. He assisted refugees from Vietnam, Cambodia, East Timor and the Lebanon. Two of his achievements, about which he could be justly proud, were, firstly, his development, staffing and management of the the first Neighbourhood Information Centre and Neighbourhood Action Centre, known as NIC NAC in East Sydney. The second was the development, and successful testing of an intensive English language program for newly arrived migrants attending school. While this seems self-evident today, the concept of learning English for a period to the exclusion of all other subjects was radical in the early 1970s. However, it was adopted by the then NSW government for all newly arriving migrant children entering the NSW school system. I know that his early refugee experience was absolutely invaluable in informing his work and achievements.

From 1977 to 1982 Peter was promoted to Senior Social Worker in the Department of Social Security, managing and providing social work service in Maroubra, Hornsby, Camperdown, Leichardt and Clarence Street.

For the next 15 years Peter continued in the department finally becoming the Assistant Director of Social Work (second only the to national Director in Canberra) for all social workers. This meant having joint responsibility for over 500 social workers in over 400 locations around the country, with specific responsibility for those in NSW, South Australia and Western Australia.

In 1995 we moved to Canberra and in 1997 Peter was head-hunted within the department (now called Centrelink) to be the Manager of the Knowledge Team which worked on tax reform and payment cycle management information projects, developed records management strategies and policies, as well as developed and distributed software products, amongst other things.

Photo: Peter in 2000

In 2000 he moved to the Information and Technology Change and Integration team and until his retirement due to ill health in May 2006, was variously trouble shooting in a range of areas. These included dealing with audit findings, undertaking negotiations for the IBM computer contract for Centrelink and many other areas which required a quick and strategic assessment and solution.

Peter said he was so lucky, as social work had been his hobby and he was paid for it. Then computers came along and they became his hobby, once more being paid to work on things that were, for him a continuation of his hobbies. This was why he could happily work 14 or more hours a day at work and home and never feel it was a problem or a trial. In this I think he was a rare person, to have found things on which he loved to work.

He met and worked with some wonderful people during his life as a public servant. I understand he was a mentor to a huge number of people and never stinted on sharing knowledge with others. He always seemed so clear and far-sighted about what should be done and how one might achieve the goals at hand. He always gave frank and fearless advice, as he had no fear about the possible consequences, and did not need the approval of others to motivate him. This did not always endear him to others, to say the least..... but, while he believed that his job was to undertake all the tasks he could to ethically and appropriately assist whoever was his manager, his ultimate loyalty was to be ethical, legal and appropriate to the profession, the department and ultimately the Australian public rather than an individual.

Some of his friendships during his working life have remained precious to him. He was without prejudice and gathered many people from diverse backgrounds into his orbit as he thoroughly enjoyed long and philosophical discussions about the backgrounds, views and experiences of people whom he encountered.

While he ultimately was unable to participate very much following his retirement, he maintained a keen interest in what people were doing and what the outcomes were of some of the big projects on which he was involved even in the last few weeks of his life.

Eulogy - Part 3


Interests
Peter was a man with a great many talents and they did not revolve around sport, cars or handyman pursuits. “I am not handy”, he would say when we were faced with a domestic repair conundrum. This meant getting in someone who was, or I would have a go, sometimes with mixed results which then required getting a tradesman. Nonetheless, Peter did have immense talents.

Peter developed an early love of music but did not take to classical music or opera as his parents may have hoped. He loved jazz, especially the music of Stan Getz, Django Rheinhard, Sidney Bechet, Fats Waller and others from the “Hot Club du Paris” era of the 1920's to 1950's. He also enjoyed folk music and while he learnt the piano and could play “by ear” as a child, he turned to the acoustic guitar as a young adult and I understand he quite liked playing to small groups of people. I also understand this gave him an opportunity and talent for meeting women, something on which he was keen from the age of 13 so he told me!
Photo: Peter, Athens 1983

He had a really lovely speaking and singing voice, which I always thought of as mellifluous and, if you closed your eyes, like being covered in melted caramel! When I first met Peter I told him he had a great voice and should have been on the radio – imagine my surprise when he mentioned that he had been a radio actor as a child!

He was a great raconteur and had an absolutely encyclopaedic repertoire of jokes or stories. He would invite you to give him a letter of the alphabet or a word and he would always have a joke about it, much like a juke box selector. He could also whistle complex classical, folk and jazz melodies unlike anyone I have ever known! They were so beautiful.

Peter loved the cinema and movies, undertaking the role of film critic when he attended Sydney university and spent time with Bill Collins in his movie appreciation weekends. In the last few weeks of his life he continued to enjoy DVDs with me, the most recent being some French films which Peter found very moving.
Photo: Peter at Frying Pan Creek 1989.
He spent a lot of time freshwater fishing in his early adult life and later while we were on holidays. He disdained bait fishing but liked using lures and I have strong memories of him up to his knees in a fast flowing stream on a baking, hot summer day in France. He loved the thrill of catching a pike perch in a lake in France or Italy, but talked with great affection about his adventures with trout in the rivers around Cooma.



Interestingly he didn't like eating fish.
Photo: Fishing at Villa Garuti in Italy, 2002
He also became a sporting shooter and spent some time in Queensland learning survival techniques many years before it became an adventure holiday concept. When I asked him about both of these things early in our relationship, because they seemed quite incongruous with the urban intellectual I knew, he said he wanted to be able to survive and protect himself and his family if ever there was a threat or need to do so. He said that no one was ever going to point a gun at him and round him up without a fight. He said “Never again. The holocaust is not going to happen to me.”

His other loves were Social Work, knowledge management, IT, writing and web development. He spent the majority of his waking hours at work, or on the computer at home researching new trends and changes in any of his interest areas. Recently he commented, that he used to think that anyone who couldn't use a computer or utilise software to it's fullest extent was either stupid or lazy, including me. But he admitted only a few months ago that he realised this was absolutely not the case, as he had been away from avidly using the computer or updating his knowledge for several months, and I had to remind him how to some things, which, to him seemed ultimately depressing . This was a a huge revelation to him, because he had been at the forefront of personal computing since the early 1980's including beta testing a number of products.

He contributed to many web discussion groups, as well as having 5 or 6 web logs of his own. One crucial one he developed was on Oesophageal Cancer, because there was nothing available in Australia to help people who were victims of this tragic disease or their carers to understand what the process, options, medical interventions and implications were for someone with this diagnosis. He maintained this for the whole 5 and ½ year period of his illness. I know that a wide range of people found this incredibly useful and thanks were often passed on by thosee who had googled the cancer and found a link to Peter's blog site.
Photo: This was all we needed for 3 - 6 months overseas, Cagnes Sur Mer, France 2000.
Peter was also totally passionate about researching genealogy. He found it so frustrating in the early years, before the internet became so useful for researching family history. He was desperate to find out more about his family and ancestors and realised that he had little knowledge when his parents both died so early in his life. The strides he was able to make when information became available on line, and he could hook up with others all over the world who were also searching, was hugely satisfying to him.
Photo: Peter with our Citroen Xsara, Auxerre, France 2002 (larger car but still camping with the same tent and gear)

Travelling also became important to Peter. From the late 1970's he started to travel overseas and maintained a schedule of having a long holiday every 2 years or so. By storing his annual leave and taking leave without pay he was able to maintain this schedule up to 2005, with many visits to Europe, a few to Asia and 2 to the USA to meet cousins. He was a bit of a”free-wheeler” without a plan, when it came to travel and enjoyed the people and food, with the sights sometimes taking second place. He always said: ”The nose knows” when he would find some wonderful patisserie, cafe or restaurant and he was rarely wrong. He also used the time to follow up on genealogical leads and track down people who remembered his parents or other family members. We returned each time to Szent Istvan Park on the Danube, in the XIII district of Budapest, and would sit in the park outside the apartment building in which he and his parents lived. He had a love/hate relationship with Budapest and would always want to return but when he did so the realities of modern Budapest often annoyed him. We agreed this was probably the load all migrants and refugees carry about their home country.

Photo: Peter's family apartment up to the time they fled Hungary in Budapest, Szent Istvan Park, XIII district.

Peter was also a very good cook, and loved to entertain. He loved eating out and experimenting with recipes or analysing the key ingredients in a dish at a restaurant. He enjoyed finding interesting cook books and by travelling to Europe he was in a state of bliss at all the wonderful bread, cheese, and different styles of cuisine. Whenever we would cross a border into a new country, province or region, his interests lay in the regional produce or specialities, rather than in the historic sites. While I was enthralled by another Romanesque church or trawling through antique or bric a brac stalls at markets, he would be smelling out a rare salami, a ripe Camembert, the best bread, or attempting to find the best espresso in the country by sampling at least 2 a day in a different cafe or bar. He always said that the difference between French or Italian and Hungarian espresso coffee was in France , you stirred the sugar in with the spoon, in Italy the spoon stood up and in Hungary, the spoon dissolved!!
Photo: Peter and Leanne, Montresor, Loire Valley, France 2002

His cooking style was mainly eastern European and Mediterranean but he was also a great lover of Asian food and he used to love stirfrys, Laksa's and curries. He was very good at Green Chicken Curry and veal with mushrooms. His view on salad was that it was, by and large, “Rabbit food” and green vegetables were only suitable as a garnish.

He was also a great reader, enjoying a wide range of books, articles, current affairs, think tank discussions and web related material. He was a speed reader and could finish a large and compelling novel in a day if he was so motivated, which meant that our home has been full of books from our first days together, as this is a joy we both shared, even though our tastes differed.

Like many migrants he was intensely proud of Australia but also of Hungarians. He always said that behind many of the worlds' great inventions there was a Hungarian and used to reel off a list of essential inventions, such as the Biro pen, whose inventors were Hungarian! Much to my amazement, I have to say when I started looking, he seemed to be correct!!!

Photo: Upgraded to a campervan in 2005, Germany.

He was also a very prolific writer. He wrote hundreds of articles and opinions for the NSW Social Work newsletter as well as editing and publishing for many years. He also contributed many articles to web discussions, wrote his own blogs and travel articles for the San Diego Jewish News. He was always so confident that writing articles and contributing to the global discussion on knowledge or change management was an important thing. He was so confident and unrepentant for his views or provocative style. He thought that it was always important to have the courage of your convictions and be prepared to engage in robust discussions.
Photo: Peter and I at our favourite restaurant in the Perigord region of France, 2005.

Peter also loved playing Bridge, and much to his disappointment, I was not good at card games. However, after a boycott on Scrabble for many years, in the last 6 months I relented and learnt many of his strategies for success. I can proudly say we recently enjoyed many good games together, even in the last 3 days of his life, when I had begun to give him a run for his money.

Community Work
He was absolutely selfless when it came to giving his time to others in any of his work or interest areas. He worked long hours often only stopping for 4 or 5 hours sleep. He took on many tasks for other people and always worked hard to get on top of something with which he was not entirely acquainted. Within a short period he often became the expert in that issue or subject, to the extent that he was often ahead of his time with many of the discussion papers he wrote or policies he advocated.

During his professional working life he was also a TAFE lecturer in social welfare and also the President of the NSW Branch of the Australian Association of Social Workers for many years. During his AASW years, he streamlined and implemented much needed modernisation and reforms, as well as contributing hundreds of articles on practice issues and writing as well as editing the professional newsletter. The mention of this in such a few lines in no way gives any indication of the years of hard work he dedicated to the AASW and the profession as a whole.

Apart from his membership and management of the Australian Association of Social Workers in NSW later in life, Peter thoroughly enjoyed being Youth Director of the B'Nai B'rith Youth Organisation between 1969 and 1975, where, I understand he successfully established and managed five youth groups comprising around 300 young people. These days he recalled with such happiness and satisfaction. He kept a large number of photographs from these days and often regaled me with anecdotes about some of the activities, or sing the songs they wrote for camps, wondering where those young people had got to over the years.


Personal Traits

Peter was not perfect and could sometimes be angry and impatient, although these episodes passed very quickly, and a little like the tide on the beach, were quickly washed away. He also “didn't suffer fools gladly”, which made us two of a kind!

He was a very self-contained person which came of being an only child and also spending many years as an independent adult without ties.

He was a highly articulate and intelligent man, who was voracious when it came to acquiring knowledge and sharing that with others, especially in his areas of interest.

He was forthright, frank and fearless and the most ethical person I have met. He was, as I mentioned, hardworking almost to the point of being a workaholic and enjoyed huge challenges.

I know that many people didn't like Peter but that never bothered him as he saw it as secondary to being a good public servant or manager. To that end, he was entirely honest and scrupulous and this engendered, in its turn, respect from others, even when the message may have not been entirely palatable or the recipients didn't like the messenger.

Peter was not a person who allowed people to get to know him too easily. He had many acquaintances and networked well with them but never really allowed too many to get to know his inner self. I know that this was because of a difficulty in entirely trusting people borne from some experiences in his early adult life, including the circumstances around the demise of his first marriage in the late 1970's.

He was, in essence, an “acquired taste” in many respects and many people did not really take the time or effort to “get to know” him at all. You had to work hard to get to see the real man behind the wall of his social, or work, self but if you persisted and demonstrated the enthusiasm, intelligence, integrity, hard work, loyalty and trustworthiness he, himself, gave then you could be rewarded by such unconditional positive regard that it was the most precious gift.

Peter had a very strategic and forward thinking mind which was always alert and ready for interesting ideas and challenges. He would often wake up quite suddenly and start immediately talking about an idea or a concept about which he had been dreaming or resolved overnight, when I have to admit I was just thinking about getting to the shower or having breakfast.

He was also a person who wanted, and did, control every aspect of his life. He was of the view that it was you who controlled the outcomes by the actions you took and that the concept of fate and drifting along in life was not one that brought very positive results. On this we were in total accord and we allowed each other the “space” to do so.

Eulogy - Part 4


Relationships
Peter said his father once told him not to worry too much about girls, as, like buses, if you miss out on one there will always be another along in a short time!!

I know Peter enjoyed many short and longer term relationships from his teenage years onwards and I say “good luck to you Peter”. It is, therefore, important to mention that Peter married Gabriella C in 1976 and they were divorced in 1980. After which he remained in Bondi, travelled overseas and met Gitte S, living with her in Salzburg. We caught up with Gitte in 2005 and I could see why she and Peter had hit it off.



He did not “settle down” again until some years later when we met.

Our 16 years together

Peter and I met in 1987 at a job interview, when he was the head social worker for DSS in NSW and also the President of the AASW. So it was a bit daunting to meet him, but for other reasons, I gave probably the worst interview of my career. Hence I didn't get the job. But when Peter contacted me to give me feedback he said: “Well you know you didn't get the job don't you because you “effed” up the interview?” Of course he was right, but after that he gave very constructive and honest feedback.

Photo: Peter and Gabriella









The next time we spoke, was in 1993, when he rang me to ask me whether I would consider taking on the role of Treasurer for the Australian Association of Social Workers in NSW, of which he was still the President and I was a member. After meeting and speaking with him a couple of times about the request, I declined on the grounds that I didn't need more work, but more personal balance in my life. Whereupon, to my surprise, he asked me out the following weekend! I have to say I did hesitate......But we took a chance and went out for lunch, to the movies and spent the afternoon at Darling Harbour in and around the Japanese Garden.

Photo: Peter August 1993

So our relationship dates from then – 31 July 1993. The first year or so were filled with challenges as we came to understand the differences in our family, cultural and religious experiences and yet we had such similar views on so many important areas of life and work. We both learnt more about each other over the years and I know we both came to appreciate the areas of difference, the expertise of the other and were grateful that we had each other. In this case opposites attracted and then continued to add “colour and movement” as we gently grew together after the initial turmoil, and understood each other more. I know we both were very intrigued and amazed by those personal and historical differences but we both valued them in the other all the more for being different to our own experience.

It was when we went to Europe travelling together for the first time in 1996, that it all suddenly clicked into place for me that Peter seemed to fit so easily into Austrian and Hungarian life. That, in fact, he was so Australian and yet so European at the same time and ultimately neither one nor the other, but both, which I have subsequently seen with other friends who are first generation refugees or migrants. From then on I certainly understood him much more and we became closer as a result.

Our time together was spent largely in working and when we had a break, in long holidays, camping around Europe in a tiny 2 person tent. We shared similar values about travelling, namely that to spend a long time away, accommodation didn't need to be luxurious. So, we spent many months in our 2 person dome tent, with a small folding table and 2 chairs, a gas burner and a car. When that wasn't possible we sometimes found ourselves in very basic youth hostels and ,only occasionally, in 1 or 2 star motels when the weather was very bleak or there was no camping ground nearby.

During those sojourns, we met some of the best people with whom we have remained in contact and become good friends. This was usually because Peter would do a “reccy” around the campsite while I was finalising the set-up and he would report back to me about who was whom. His maxim about people was: “I find them, you keep them!”

I was also the chief navigator and decided on where we would go after extensive reading, while Peter was the designated driver, linguist and food finder. His excellent knowledge of German, Hungarian, very passable French and Italian meant that we both enjoyed a much more rich and personal experience of those countries together than would have otherwise been possible. We spent some very positive times with distant relatives in Budapest, which would have been closed to me without Peter. He would arm me with a few phrases and send me off to see if there was a campsite, room or food available – often with less than optimal results – but he was right to push me. He often had to rescue the situation, especially in Hungary or where more complex bureaucratic situations arose. These trips became the times where we really “lived” and spent such great times together.

Peter's diagnosis of Oesophageal Cancer in February 2004 shook us both to our core. His subsequent surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy and various conditions was hugely stressful and distressing to both of us but, especially Peter, as you can imagine. I was more used to the medical system and realised early on that he would need me to help navigate through the murky waters.

We did manage to have another long European trip in 2005, with him returning to work on a part time basis up to May 2006. However, further recurrences and other medical problems started to dog him again from 2006 onwards.

Peter spent every spare minute, he was feeling able to do so, in finalising his personal issues from the moment he received his diagnosis. He reached out even more to distant relatives overseas to finish what he could of his genealogical records. This became hugely rewarding as the internet connected him with more and more people. Some of these were the children of people who had actually known his parents in Budapest. Their parents were able to give Peter information about his parents which was new and filled out what little he knew about their lives.

Photo: Peter's 60th birthday, January 2009. He didn't think he would make it to 60, so this was very special.

But, over time, Peter's quality of life gradually contracted to needing more and more personal assistance. I left work in May 2008 to be, well and truly, his “help-meet” and to effectively, and literally, be his right hand, given his right arm had become paralysed. However, it is important you should know that he remained physically as independent as possible right up to the time he was hospitalised in late July and his mind and determination to live never dimmed.

He always had a great fear of being incapacitated and he hated that his body was gradually failing him in a “death by a thousand cuts” scenario. He always said that the great irony of his situation was that all the things which he valued and which defined him as a person were the very things which were taken away from him in these last couple of years. Such things as his voice and his skills as a great communicator, his love of writing, his passion for good food and his independence were all stripped away.

He came to rely on me more as days passed and I was happy to help and nurse him through.

An unexpectedly joyful time was our wedding on Sunday 5 July this year at our home in Canberra, which was scheduled between chemotherapy. It was something which we had never really felt necessary, but which earlier this year, I considered would be a fitting thing to do to formally join our families together so that records would note that we were important to each other. Otherwise, who would know? It caused some moments of angst for both of us, raising issues long dormant, but in the end it was a beautiful and very significant day with a few people to help us celebrate.

The last few weeks we spent together, Peter was in the hospice and they were hard work for him as he was battling to stay with me. But there were moments of sheer joy and delight on occasion too, when just for a small time, we could hold hands, enjoy a shared joke or Peter's ascerbic humour would rise to the fore; watch movies and share moments with good friends or each other.

I know that this illness was so very cruel and Peter felt robbed of 15 or 20 years more of life. However, I can also say that it made us stop and realise that devoting yourself to work and not taking time to be with people you care about or things that matter to you, is foolish. He said lately: “I wish I had spent more time with you and less on work. What a fool I have been, what lost opportunities I missed.” However, I did not lambast him about that regret, but said: “We were doing what was important to us at the time Peter, when we took our health and our lives for granted.”

We certainly ended up spending more time with each other, were brought closer together than ever before and the love and care we had for each other was strengthened many times over in these last few months. I think he was, also, sometimes surprised at the caring of his friends and some of the people he met on this long road. He said he was glad we were together as we had gathered some lovely friends and sometimes it was the people you least expected.

Photo: Peter and one of our many friends, Stephen, visiting at our home, 2009. Peter's T Shirt caption reads: "I'm not insensitive I just don't give a crap" (no reference to Stephen).

Our relationship was a case of opposites attracting but some of our passions rubbed off on each other. I learned a lot from Peter, from big, strategic issues down to the smaller and more personal things in life. He taught me how to cook properly with Paprika, the sheer joy of a well cooked meal and how to analyse the ingredients and method of preparation; how to cook a few Hungarian dishes; about computers and how to maximise their value, how to be a better public servant and manager, how to protect yourself at work and maximise your outcomes; the value of project management, the crucial need to write everything down to “cover your arse” as he put it; swear words in several different languages; that the accent and body language is as important as what you say in whatever language; that you should have the courage of your convictions; that it is important to have a view and to provoke discussion; that you can never stop learning; that there is value in science fiction; that 1930's jazz is enjoyable; old movies remain fascinating no matter how many times you see the same one; that being part of a family and having them close by is a gift especially to those who don't have one; that knowing who you are and where you came from is crucial; not to take anything for granted; to recognise when the rainy day has finally arrived. And much, much more.....

Photo: A great day! He made it to my birthday 1 week before passing away. This is what 2 months of pneumonia and chemotherapy had done to him, but he was so good on this day: 12 September 2009.

I would just like to close this by saying Peter was a special person, but for all that, he was also very human. I often told him he was the most annoying person in the known universe at times and much more besides, and he agreed! But equally, he reminded me, so could I be. However, we loved each other, grew together more over time, respected the worth of each other and were the better because we have been together.

I only wish we had met earlier and been together longer. I salute you Peter. You will never be forgotten by me while ever I have a breath to take. Go gently, my love, into that dark night I will always remember, love and cherish you.
Leanne

Photo:Farewell 19 September 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

Memorial Gathering - Program

This is a copy of the program for Peter's Memorial gathering. Unfortunately, not all the wonderful desktop publishing formatting has come out well on the blog - apologies for this. I have a good pdf version, including the lovely background colouring etc that I would be very happy to email you directly if you email me or leave a comment on the blog. I also have a few hard copies over for those who you know might like a hard copy.

I will be putting the eulogy up on this blog in the next few days and also attempting to add some of the powerpoint photos too. (Last names of living people have been deleted to protect their identities. I know that Peter was very vigilant about identity theft issues and so I am carrying this on too.)

25 January 1949 – 19 September 2009

Memorial Gathering

Thursday 15 October 2009

Tuggeranong Community Hall,

Tuggeranong, A.C.T


PROGRAM


Welcome – Roberta H

To friends, Centrelink and FaHCSIA colleagues, neighbours, blog followers and those we have met through other aspects of life and the medical process: thank you for being here today to honour the memory of Peter George Garas. He would have been pleased to know you were here.



Kaddish – Roberta H

Death has taken our beloved Peter.

Friends grieve in their darkened world.

In their silence, is lamentation.

In their tears, there is loneliness.

Lost in sorrow, may they find the presence of loving friends.


For Peter's presence and love that united us in life and which death cannot sever;

For his companionship that we shared along life's path, and which continues through the tenderness of memory;

For the gifts of his heart and mind that brought us joy and happiness and is now a precious remembrance;

For all these and more we give thanks.

(Adaptation of Opening Prayer at Peter's Funeral)



The Lord is Thy Keeper/ A Song of Ascents

I will lift up mine eyes unto the mountains, from whence cometh my help?
My help cometh from the Lord who maketh heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Behold he that keepeth Israel doth neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
The sun shall not smite thee by day nor the moon by night.
The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil; He shall preserve thy soul.
The Lord shall guard thy going out and thy coming in, from this time forth, and even for evermore.
(Psalm 121)

Memories of Peter and Social Work

Desley H

National Manager, Social Work ,

Centrelink



Memories of Peter

Moya D

General Manager, Education, Employment & Support Programs , Centrelink



Eulogy

Leanne S



Funeral Blues/Stop the Clocks – Roberta H

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with the juicy bone

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.


Let the aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling in the sky the message He is Dead;

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.


He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.


The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

(By WH Auden, April 1936.)



Photo tribute and music



Echo Roberta H

Come to me in the silence of the night;

Come in the speaking silence of a dream;

Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright

As sunlight on a stream;

Come back in tears,

O memory, hope and love of finished years.


O dream, how sweet, too sweet, too bitter-sweet,

Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,

Where souls brim-full of love abide and meet;

Where thirsting longing eyes

Watch the slow door

That opening, letting in, lets out no more.

(By Christina Rossetti)



Closing – Roberta H

Mourner's Kaddish for Everyday

Build me up of memory

loving and angry, tender and honest.

Let my loss build me a heart of wisdom,

compassion for the world's many losses.


Each hour is mortal

and each hour is eternal

and each hour is our testament.

May I create worthy memories

all the days of my life.

(by Debra Cash)



Afternoon Tea





Photo Gallery and Thoughts

From “Pete's Place” (www.garpet.blogspot.com)






Having now travelled extensively around the world - I know for a certainty that the opportunities provided for my generation were far greater.... All (of my achievements) ... would have been of some joy to my parents, both of whom died, alas, before they could bear witness to the fact that their seemingly cracked idea of travelling to the ends of the earth, where they knew not the language and where their knowledge and understanding of the country and culture was virtually zero,.... paid off. (July 15, 2009)


I am sincerely grateful for the circumstances that landed my family in Australia and not the USA.


Alas, I am not well and my illness will probably put paid to any hopes for a medal for longevity, but overall I am satisfied with my life.....(November 10, 2008)

From Oesophageal Cancer Blog (www.garpet1.blogspot.com)


It's rather difficult to wake up every morning knowing that your life hangs on a knife's edge. (23 February 2009)


The saddest, funniest, most complex and yet simple things that people think, say or do are the foundations of life and its intricacies as we know them.


Being retired does have some real meaning and value. (Blog, June 27, 2009)

I know that in my life there have been many instances in which my behaviour has been inappropriate and as a result has hurt people. For this, all I can do is to say sorry - and I do. I really wish that the situations could have been otherwise. Of course, I say this now with a head that I hope is filled with changed outlooks on life, changed measures of how I look at and value others and of course how my learnt behaviours, attitudes, prejudices, abilities all mix together in this melange that calls itself me.
Each day this changes, for better or worse, as internal and external stuff impacts on what's left. I sincerely hope that it is changing for the better and that I am becoming a better person in the way that I think and go about finding those few things I can change. (Monday June 22, 2009)

My lack of ability to communicate is perhaps even more serious than the cancer. It can kill me, (but) the lack of ability to communicate easily just makes the continuation of existence miserable and THAT I think is probably worse than just dying. Amazing what I value hey? (December 13, 2008)


Being even remembered - much less appreciated - is wonderful and simply brings tears to the eyes.








There are many, and I mean many, people around the world, whose connection with me, and indeed sometimes with each other, has only taken place because they and I were interested in pursuing the exhilarating hunt for ancestors and family. I really wish I could meet and spend time with them. I certainly hope that they will use the genealogical material I have compiled in addition to the material that some of them have gathered and published on their own. (June 29, 2009)


As my life is ending, your lives are continuing and ,hopefully, can be enriched by learning about what little I did right . While perhaps, more usefully ,learning what I did not do right.
In spite of all the learning I acquired and used, I was most ignorant and stupid about my medical condition. I am now paying a price I cannot even imagine describing to you.
(From: “An unsent email to relatives in the USA “ Peter Garas, June 2009)