Preparation and Memorial for Peter

From the time I returned from my mother's home, following the funeral and memorial services in Sydney, I commenced a slow and disjointed process of trying to acquaint myself with Peter's computer holdings and the precious photos or personal notes they contained. Computer files, naming conventions and document systems are such idiosyncratic things, as individual as the people who create them. Which means that our rationale for saving something in one place compared to another is not always clear.

The first day I spent just looking through some of his photo folders and files. In some places, I stumbled upon gems of Peter's earlier life which I had never seen before. Did he try to show them to me before? At the time he scanned and saved them, did I ignore his cries of: "Come here I've got something to show you?" I am not sure, but it is possible.

Those days spent trawling through the photos, asking Dave LR for advice (thanks Dave!) and choosing them for a powerpoint presentation or program booklet for the Canberra memorial gathering, made me feel that I was still so close to him. I felt that I was with him, that I hadn't lost him and we were together. I looked into his face, the face of many ages and stages, and loved him all over again and I, occasionally, got sidetracked.

Years of organising policy conferences and meetings for government ministers and officials, paid off for me in this period. That, as well as two weeks of preparation, the good fortune to have a community venue (whose staff were so helpful, supportive and capable of providing all the technology and catering) plus a few excellent friends to help, made the memorial organisation smooth.

I had added a notice to the blog site, placed a memorial notice in The Canberra Times, sent out written invitations, text messages, emails and phone calls. A week before hand, many people declined because they were interstate for work and couldn't get out of the meetings. I thought it looked like we would be lucky to have any people, which I would have felt was the ultimate humiliation for Peter.

Later, in the week beforehand, I started to get a few more RSVPs. On the day, I expected 42 people, which was a relief.

The Lakeview Ballroom at the Community Centre was a great venue, looking out onto the Tuggeranong Lake, from great, huge glass windows. But Thursday 15th October, 2009, was a cold, blustery and rainy day. We were lucky to reach about 13 or 14 degrees Celsius and I arrived a few hours early for the set-up. We had 50 chairs out.

At 2.30pm there seemed to be more people arriving and imagine my absolute surprise, relief and gratification when I was told, later, that 100 chairs were out and full with a few others standing!!

Two of Peter's previous colleagues, provided truthful and "no-holds-barred" insights into their memories of Peter during the past 20 years at work, which I found funny, warm and added to my knowledge of a part of his life in which I couldn't share. Thank you so much Desley and Moya.

I had written a Eulogy for the funeral and spent some days, revising, adding more personal extracts from Peter's notes on his early life and adjusting it to be more relevant to the audience who had known him in this environment. So it was substantially longer and, I hoped, more personal and interesting. In the end, I had an emotional moment or two at the beginning and the very end, but I considered it important that I deliver the Eulogy for Peter, rather than someone else. I could hear him saying: "If you think you're so good at public speaking, get up there and show me!" So I did and I know that it took longer than I had planned, but how do you do justice to someone who had such a "huge" personality, experienced such interesting things and has had such an amazing life?

Afterwards, during the afternoon tea (held to the sounds of Sidney Bechet and Fats Waller's jazz) I was so very moved and gratified to meet people whom I never knew, but to whom Peter had been important in one way or another. I was also pleased some had come the 300 kms from Sydney to be there, previous colleagues and bosses had come out of retirement or taken the time off work, neighbours, blog followers, palliative care volunteers, Dr P, representatives from the Health Care Consumers Association, friends, as well as my friends and work colleagues.

I have to particularly thank Roberta, a lifelong friend, who was marvellous in being the "MC", welcoming, introducing everyone, reading the prayers and poems and holding it all together. Her husband Stephen, was tireless in undertaking the organisation of people and chairs as well as undertaking the powerpoint/troubleshooting. Others such as Kathleen and Dave and people I can't remember, were the helpers in the kitchen afterwards. Thank you everyone and apologies if I have missed you.

All too soon it was over and by 5.15pm we had to make room for the Tai Chi class!!

I wished we could have had a party and stayed for hours more. I would have liked to have had more time to speak to everyone, but I was grateful to those who attended and who took the time out of their day to celebrate a person, who, to me was so very important, unique and irreplaceable.

Thank you to everyone who could attend to pay tribute to Peter. Thank you, also, to all who thought of us on the day from afar - this blog entry is for all of you.

I will be uploading the program and the eulogy to the blog in the next few days and working on the powerpoint pictures so there is a link to them too. I think you will find them very poignant.
Please feel free to email me or leave a comment on the blog with your contact details if you would like a hard copy of any of these. Also, I would like you to feel free to stay in touch with me if you wish to do so.

With grateful thanks to you all
Leanne