One of the difficulties new mentors have is the feeling that they need a "road map". One of the features of mentor induction most appreciated is the prersentation by a mentor or a mentor and mentee about "how we did it". I recommend such presentations, but there is also a risk that new mentors think they have the road map.
Mentoring Dimensions
Formal Informal
e.g. Fixed roles - "mentor" is always the mentor,
Note and review agreements/action points at end of meeting
e.g. Roles swap at times, No sharing of notes or no notes taken
Structured Unstructured
e.g. Work to an agenda for a meeting, work to a plan over time
e.g. Begin meeting with what is on mind of mentee and take it from there
Fixed Term Open Ended
Mentor and mentee know when mentoring will end
Mentoring has no defined end date
Advice Giver Facilitator
e.g. Shares expertise, telling e.g. Assists mentee to draw own conclusions from reviewing what they know and how they feel, questioning
Only Resource Finder
Mentor is the only resource made available Mentor puts mentee in touch with others who can assist development and aspirations
Presenting Problems Wider Issues
e.g. Focus is on seeking solutions to presenting problems, determining actions, making decisions, "Discussion" e.g. Exploring how mentee's values and other beliefs relate to the issues they bring, Working to develop self-insight, "Dialogue"
Disclosing Own Experiences Non-disclosing
e.g. Readily share relevant examples of how you succeeded or failed and lessons learned.
e.g. No references to own experiences.
Focus on what mentee experiences and how mentee deals with this.
Personal Focus Professional Focus
e.g. Work with mentee to check her / his aspirations or actions against personal values. Consider how pursuit of one thing may impact on other areas of life, including private life.
e.g. Discuss issues without reference to their relationship to mentee's personal values.
Work Venues Social Venues
e.g. Always meet in work environment. e.g. Some or all meetings in social environments - café / bar / home
Friendship Working Relationship
e.g. Enjoy deep friendship as well as being a mentoring pair and feel comfortable with this level of intimacy.
e.g. The relationship stops short of intimate friendship but both feel it is human, warm and useful.
These choices are not right or wrong. There are intermediate positions on the dimensions. One side is not better or more preferable than the other is. An interesting exercise is to go to one side of a dimension and ask in what situation would this choice be more appropriate. Then to go to the other side and ask the same question.
Whether a choice is useful depends on both the mentor and mentee, the context or scheme in which they meet, how their relationship develops and their needs at the time of a particular meeting.
A key role for mentors is to use judgement and instinct as to how best to meet the needs of the mentee while recognising their own unique qualities.
Factors Impacting On Choices In Mentoring
· Degree of trust
· Personalities
· Access to other relevant resources
· Quality of communication / understanding
· Degree of self-awareness / readiness to examine self
· Values beliefs
. Life experience
· Expectations
· Time available
· Courage
· Skills
· Confidence
Mentoring Dimensions
Formal Informal
e.g. Fixed roles - "mentor" is always the mentor,
Note and review agreements/action points at end of meeting
e.g. Roles swap at times, No sharing of notes or no notes taken
Structured Unstructured
e.g. Work to an agenda for a meeting, work to a plan over time
e.g. Begin meeting with what is on mind of mentee and take it from there
Fixed Term Open Ended
Mentor and mentee know when mentoring will end
Mentoring has no defined end date
Advice Giver Facilitator
e.g. Shares expertise, telling e.g. Assists mentee to draw own conclusions from reviewing what they know and how they feel, questioning
Only Resource Finder
Mentor is the only resource made available Mentor puts mentee in touch with others who can assist development and aspirations
Presenting Problems Wider Issues
e.g. Focus is on seeking solutions to presenting problems, determining actions, making decisions, "Discussion" e.g. Exploring how mentee's values and other beliefs relate to the issues they bring, Working to develop self-insight, "Dialogue"
Disclosing Own Experiences Non-disclosing
e.g. Readily share relevant examples of how you succeeded or failed and lessons learned.
e.g. No references to own experiences.
Focus on what mentee experiences and how mentee deals with this.
Personal Focus Professional Focus
e.g. Work with mentee to check her / his aspirations or actions against personal values. Consider how pursuit of one thing may impact on other areas of life, including private life.
e.g. Discuss issues without reference to their relationship to mentee's personal values.
Work Venues Social Venues
e.g. Always meet in work environment. e.g. Some or all meetings in social environments - café / bar / home
Friendship Working Relationship
e.g. Enjoy deep friendship as well as being a mentoring pair and feel comfortable with this level of intimacy.
e.g. The relationship stops short of intimate friendship but both feel it is human, warm and useful.
These choices are not right or wrong. There are intermediate positions on the dimensions. One side is not better or more preferable than the other is. An interesting exercise is to go to one side of a dimension and ask in what situation would this choice be more appropriate. Then to go to the other side and ask the same question.
Whether a choice is useful depends on both the mentor and mentee, the context or scheme in which they meet, how their relationship develops and their needs at the time of a particular meeting.
A key role for mentors is to use judgement and instinct as to how best to meet the needs of the mentee while recognising their own unique qualities.
Factors Impacting On Choices In Mentoring
· Degree of trust
· Personalities
· Access to other relevant resources
· Quality of communication / understanding
· Degree of self-awareness / readiness to examine self
· Values beliefs
. Life experience
· Expectations
· Time available
· Courage
· Skills
· Confidence
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